


Little by Little

by Casmonster1



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anxiety, M/M, Trust Issues, Vulnerable Dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-06
Updated: 2018-05-06
Packaged: 2019-05-03 03:21:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14559720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Casmonster1/pseuds/Casmonster1
Summary: Dean has a hard time separating what Lucifer did and who Sam is.....





	Little by Little

Dean still remembered everything that had happened with Lucifer, sure several months had past, but he couldn't look at Sam the same way. Even if he loved his Baby Boy with all he had, Lucifer had tainted it by using Sam as a vessel and almost killing Dean.

Dean looked down at Sam, he looked so different as he slept... but Dean hadn't been able to touch Sam since everything, his hands would shake and fear would over take him, the anxiety almost overwhelming, more than Dean would wish to admit considering he had always shown such a strong façade.

but even if he had shown his tough side, he had always had his Brother, his lover, best friend, the one who actually saw the real Dean.  
now he couldn't even kiss Sam the way he had for years.

It was like that was Lucifer getting one last dig, making Dean and Sam lose their relationship, the bond that was stronger than anything else. 

Dean reached out slowly, he could try maybe, to brush the hair from his Brother's face. The face he had memorized on long nights. 

Sam shifted on the seat, turning to face Dean, his eyes opening a bit. "Dee? "

Dean stopped his hand in mid air, frozen. "Everything is fine, Sammy."

Sam sat up, giving Dean distance. He had seen the way his Brother was acting. "Have another nightmare? The truth this time."

Dean set his lips in a firm line, he had been lying to Sam even on the nights he would wake up screaming... After everything he had seen why was this the one thing to effect him? Dean sighed as he rubbed a hand down his face. This was hard, but it had to be said.

"It isn't just the nightmares, I can barely look at you without seeing him, using you to hurt me. The fact that he took the one person I love most and used him against me, how can I get past it? Because rationally I know it wasn't you. It was Lucifer, I can't even touch you any more."

Sam listened, just letting Dean get it out, so that explains the lack of contact. "we can try little things, not fast, but just see if it helps."

Dean wasn't sure how that could help, but at this point he was ready to try anything. His hand moved slowly, with Sam watching so intently it was hard to disguise the shaking this time. This was Sam, he wouldn't hurt a fly....

Sam raised a hand to cradle Dean's, barely touching it but giving a little contact. "I will never hurt you or leave you, even if we get angry at each other, I love you more than myself, Dean. It's only us right now. "

Dean moved forward, not closing his eyes since that would only back peddle progress as he finally touched Sam on his cheek. "I love you too, Baby boy. Nothing could take me away from you, it'll just take time to get back there."

Sam nodded, holding Dean's hand on his cheek. He wanted to be closer to9o his Brother, but didn't want to set off the fear he could hear in his voice and see in his body. "Every step of the way I'll be by your side, Dean."

even though Dean knew it would take time to get back to where they were.


End file.
